By Tosha Tingey
•
May 10, 2019
I stand with two feet planted firmly atop a steep cliff. The view up here is divine. I can see the cliffs and valleys go on into the horizon. Everywhere I look is a destination. I have with me a large backpack, and my arms are heavy from a large load I’m carrying. At the edge of the cliff, I can now see below, where before all saw was across and out. Down below I see a blue river striding along a careless path. It looks like a stroke of paint across a brown canvas. I see vibrant green trees hugging the mountainsides and traces of speckled wildflowers. I’ve never seen so much color and beauty. All I had ever focused on was the scenery in front of me, but now I’m being drawn to this oasis below me. But how do I get there? At first, it feels impossible, not even worth entertaining the thought. The view around me is beautiful, and I am safe, and I have all of my stuff. I try to dismiss the , but I can’t help but look down and study the thrilling foreign scenery. I’ve only seen pictures and heard stories before, but now I want to experience it. Well, I could jump. Jump and hope I make it safely and that the best of my belongings won't escape my grip in the fall. While the jump sounds exhilarating, the rest of the logic ends about right there too. I start looking more closely at the decent. I notice cliffs stepping nearly all the way down. The distances differ from each cliff to the next. With a lot of hesitation, I leap. I leap downward toward the closest cliff, just 2 feet below me. I land with a thud, and all my stuff clatters at the impact but stays secure in my tight grip. I look up at where I was, still within reach. I look down below, still very out of reach but is now feeling more attainable just two feet closer. I look around and find another cliff about the same distance as the last. I leap once more. This time as I land, one of the items in my arms slips away. I don’t even recognize what it is as it crashes and clangs along the rocks. The decent carries along in this pattern. Jump then look back at the top to ensure it’s still there and easy enough to get back to if needed. As I get deeper into the canyon, the jumps are getting bigger and further apart. The beginning is barely in sight, and while I can now see details of the trees and the crests in the river, it still is far away. Did I make a big mistake? If I go back, I would have to lose all of my belongings, and if I keep going down, I might not make it. I almost sit down in defeat but instead rid my arms of the last remaining Knick knacks and jump down to the next cliff. It felt good to watch all that stuff disappear, and I feel lighter and more confident. I continue leaping step by step until I get to the bottom. My feet land onto long squishy grass. I can feel the mushy wet strands between my toes and water trickling over my feet with each step. I step into the river and feel the ice-cold water run past my ankles, not even flinching at my human resistance. These feelings and experiences are just the beginning. There is so much to explore and discover. I look up towards the sky and see the cliffs above me. I’m sure I’ll be able to climb back up one of those cliffs one day, but for now, I’m going to wander and see what is meant for me right here, right now.